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Friday, April 24, 2015

Ugly Duckling

Growing up, the neighborhood boys would hurl insults at me. I would often get called a dog- translation, ugly. I had it all- frizzy hair, braces (twice, and head gear), and was skinny as a beanpole. To top it off, I was painfully shy. When those mean boys would call me names, my heart sank into the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t wait until the day that I would turn from the ugly duckling into a beautiful swan.

When I finally learned to tame my frizzy mane, had my braces removed, and stopped being so awkward- things did change. The same boys that made fun of me were calling me for dates. I’ll never forget when one of the rude boys nervously called and asked me to go out with him. It was my opportunity to throw the smack down and put this jerk in his place. But there was something in me that decided to give this guy a chance. 

You see, all the time that I was waiting to be something more than an “ugly duckling”, my character was being molded. I learned what it was like to be the least wanted, overlooked and dismissed. And I discovered that I didn't want anyone else to ever feel the way I did. All those times I thought I was an ugly duckling- I was really becoming kinder, wiser, and more loving.

There are times now that I’m older when I hear the same insults. Only they are coming from myself. They tell me that I’m disregarded, not good enough, not worth it- you name it. But then I remember how God worked in my life so long ago. He developed priceless growth in my character during the hurtful times-which is beautiful. I have learned that sometimes to be refined, I have to be in a place where I ache for more. In that place,where I'm  swept under a rug somewhere, seemingly forgotten, He is pruning me. Through my own trials, hurts, or rejection; Jesus is calling me to deeper love and compassion.