Pouring Out

I have a hard time letting go and giving my all. There is a part of me that always shrinks back into waiting. I think there will be a perfect time for this or that. The time to shine will be when all my ducks are in a row. But the problem is for years, I have been waiting. Storing up efforts like pennies in a piggy bank, saving my all for a greater time or purpose. I often wonder how freeing it would be to pour out all of myself into parenting, being a wife, a friend, a writer, a dreamer. And I also wonder why I wait. It’s not that I don’t try, or care, or desire to give my all. There is a fear of what will happen when I do. Will I lose myself? Will I be able to handle new expectations? Will I be enough?

But then I think of Jesus. Pouring himself, all of himself, into his treasured children and creation. The gift he gives, the love he offers is immeasurable. He didn’t stop half-way, he gave his everything so we may know how much he loves us. As I ponder this thought, I feel so incapable, because I am. But I’m also inspired because the love Jesus offers, gives me purpose.  His love gives me no excuse to wait and every reason to pour myself into relationships, talents, and dreams.

Pouring out myself may require vulnerability, or stretch me out of my comfort zone. But in giving my all, I may find that I’m capable because Jesus will make me capable. Through my open hands and open heart, I may find that I didn’t have to be so afraid to offer my fullest potential after all. If I fail or if I’m met with resistance in my pursuits, it will be okay. The assurance of Jesus’ love for me, for you, for all of us, is simply the greatest reason to allow ourselves to pour into life, giving our best for His glory.

Colossians 3:23-24New Living Translation (NLT)
Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.